Last Monday’s note was a heavy one about mass shootings as the inevitable result of people in positions of power wielding their influence to incite violence. Last Thursday’s note was much less heavy but featured a comedic song about using one’s “influencer status” to urge people to be good, kind humans, starting with calling our moms.
The concept of influence is one I’ve been thinking about and returning to regularly for about seven years now.
Today, I want to share some of those thoughts, because I believe evaluating what we’re taking in, and from whom, through the lens of how influence is used, can go a long way in our community care efforts.
Bad Vibes
I think I first started to form my stance on influence when Mickey Trescott and I were co-writing, The Autoimmune Wellness Handbook in 2016. In writing that book, the message of personal empowerment became extremely important to us. Rather than having our work received as encouraging dependence on us as autoimmune health “gurus” or leading readers into viewing anyone, even their doctors, as their gurus, we made it very clear that we were anti-guru.
As time went on, and the rise of the influencer role on social media became more prominent, I realized that guru and influencer had the same connotations. Influencer gave me the same bad vibe, ‘cause it was a familiar scenario.
A person uses real or perceived authority to manipulate people into taking an action, (usually one that somehow financially benefits them) which has little to no lasting benefit for the people taking the action. And just like gurus, a lot of influencers weren’t inspiring confidence, instead, they were creating unhealthy dependence.
Think how often some of the most dangerous influencers of our time repeat a message somewhere along the lines of “I can save you.” (This happened a lot in the health and wellness space at the height of the pandemic, to speak nothing of the . . . ahem . . . presidency.) My feelings about “influencer” are the same as my feelings about “guru.” Anti.
Leadership In Contrast to Influence
Even though we use the terms interchangeably now, leading and influencing are not the same. In 2019 I started sharing on my Instagram account, in contrast to influencers, about the qualities of leadership that have stood out to me through reading I’ve done on the topic, interactions I’ve had with good and bad leaders, and the experiences I’ve had professionally trying lead.
I’ve noticed that leaders:
Serve. Leaders serve their community. That doesn’t mean working themselves into the ground, but it does mean at the very least thinking about how to meet the needs of those around them.
Take responsibility. The heavy-lifting, tough conversations, addressing (not avoiding) problems, late nights, apologies, HOW (can’t just be an idea machine, must execute). All of that “hard stuff” the leader must do it.
Must be willing to push a community. Leaders can’t always do/say the things that make everyone comfortable. Creating actual change when things are broken or there’s a need for growth, requires doing new things, usually less comfortable things.
Go first. Leaders can’t expect others to take the risks and then enjoy the benefits.
Empower people. Leaders should make others feel confident in their own abilities. Whether those abilities are in relation to doing a job or managing a health issue or anywhere in between.
Are aware of their influence and extremely principled in using it. Being a good leader usually means having some influence, but not every influencer is a thoughtful leader. Leaders understand things they put out there actually impact their community. They try to avoid causing harm by being conscientious and deliberate with their words.
Questioning Influence
Leading and influencing are not the same things. With these leadership qualities in mind, we can develop especially useful questions to evaluate the messages around us and the voices behind them.
Questions like:
Is there any intention of service in what this person is saying? If so, does the intention feel authentic?
Does this person seem to be avoiding responsibility in their messaging?
Is the message intended to placate a certain group?
Is the message claiming an achievement that the person didn’t actually work for?
Do I feel more confident listening to this message? Or, is it instilling doubt in how capable I am?
Can my community benefit from this message of empowerment? Or is this message about individual gain at the expense of others?
Is this person empowering one group to the detriment of another?
Is this fear-based messaging?
Does this message have the hallmarks of being well thought out or does it seem hasty, maybe too reactionary?
Questions like these help build awarenss of how influence is being used and accurately evaluate leaders vs. influencers. They can also help us thoughtfully assess how we’re using influence ourselves in the spaces where we lead.
Contagion
Influence can be used positively, to “contagiously” spread honest, right, caring messages (Peter Kropotkin taught about this). But a lot depends on whether the person behind the message is just a sloppy influencer, maybe even one who intends harm, or someone who wants to lead in a way that helps their community thrive.
It’s up to us to get better at identifying what kind of “contagion” the people and messages we’re giving our attention to are spreading.
Have you thought about the ways influence can be used? How do you see “influencers” vs. leaders impacting your communities? I hope you’ll comment.
Honestly I have never considered influencers to be leaders. Influencers, sway. They don't actually DO the work. They sway the workers. Leaders DO. Leaders get their hands dirty. They take action. Influencers have followers while leaders create community. I don't know a lot of leaders but i do know a LOT of influencers. Leaders are rare because it takes a lot of grit and courage to lead. Takes a lot of filters and fluff to influence.
I think you've laid out what makes me (and likely many others) so frustrated with politics. Very few seem to have the courage to be a leader - to put their community first and forgo personal interest. It always seems like there is an ulterior motive. That is as true at the local level (thinking school principals even) as the national.